Marriage and Love Within Pride and Prejudice

A major theme that seems to be portrayed in Pride and Prejudice is love and marriage. Its three main outlooks are seen through Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and Lydia. Mrs. Bennet represents the typical views of society which is a marriage based off reputation and wealth. She believes that “a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”… and if she finds such a man who comes into town, “he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters” (3). In Mrs. Bennet’s mind, women, (specifically her daughters) must behave in a certain way and live according to the norms of society. It is only by living this kind of lifestyle that a marriage proposal will be obtained. Marriage thus becomes an obligation and love has no valid place, it is something that will maybe develop later in the future. Overall, society portrays marriage to just be an opportunity to climb the social latter and gain public opinion. However, Elizabeth’s relationship with Mr. Darcy is a different outlook. Their marriage is based off of genuine and honest emotion as seen when Elizabeth tells Jane, “I love him” (240). Although Mr. Darcy has plenty of money, it is not an essential factor in Elizabeth’s mind as it is to the rest of society. In fact, she turned down Mr. Darcy’s first proposal because she had not felt those feelings of affection and love as she later did. Elizabeth and her sister Jane are the only characters who marry for true love and coincidently are the only characters who in the end are truly happy. Contradictory to both Mrs. Bennet’s and Elizabeth’s outlook on love and marriage is Lydia. Lydia goes against social norms when she elopes with Mr. Wickham and lives with him before they are married. To Lydia love is fun in the moment, it is flirty and adventures. Her immaturity reveals her irresponsibility and carelessness when it comes to love. She is a character who lives for the happiness of the moment but is approach to love eventually runs dry when the thrill and pleasure of it all is gone. Throughout the entire novel there seemed to be the question, what is love? Whether it be societies view or Elizabeth’s and Lydia’s there was no clear answer. However, the fact that Elizabeth and Jane were the only married, successful, and truly happy characters seems to suggest that marriage is something that can only thrive off of true and sincere emotion rather than the material things.

The ideal reader who comes across this novel should see that the way in which society views and accepts marriage may not be the right way. The pressures and norms of society or from the family are not necessarily the means of finding true happiness. It is following the heart and speaking freely about our feelings without worry of judgment which allows us to be ourselves. The reader should come to the conclusion that no amount of wealth or high societal status can compare to the real and honest feelings of love. However, Austin also shows how love is not just a thrill, a live for the moment and passion approach but rather something more. Love is deeper, it’s patient and it’s kind.

I personally agree with Austin’s view of love. It is so easy to get caught up on how society portrays love and relationships and a lot of times those relationships fail. When we side with society, we tend to lose those things that are important, like real heartfelt and personal emotions. Excitement and material possessions only last for so long yet that seems to be what society screams at us. It tells us to live in the moment, to live to make ourselves happy, whatever gives us pleasure. They make everything seem fun and perfect yet they fail to reveal the whole truth. There are always consequences for our actions. The saddest part about society to me today is that marriage and love has lost all meaning. People don’t get married off of genuine love. They get married like Lydia, finding pleasure and excitement in the moment and then later finding themselves empty and bored. The solution is then divorce and before you know it they’re off on an adventure run again. Love has become an empty word replaced with personal pleasure. Sex is encouraged, it is a way to explore your sexuality and make yourself feel good. There’s no commitment and there’s no emotion, it’s just physical. I, like Jane and Elizabeth want something real, something sacred and genuine. I am not afraid to be myself and speak my opinions to the Miss Bingleys’ and Lady Catherines’. I am waiting for that man rich or poor that God places before me and who respects me and loves me for who I truly am despite the norms of society.

Symbolism

There are many different objects in my home that portray my character or tell a story. However, there are only a few that are very special and symbolize a part of my life. The first one is the board game TROUBLE. I don’t know why or when but as far back as I can remember my grandpa and I played this game together. It got to the point that every time I saw him (which was about 3-4 times a week) we would play it 2-3 times. I became known as the champ because I could totally cream my grandpa. Maybe that’s why I loved to play it so much. As my high school days came we played less and less as I had homework to do, but when summer came it was like the old times. I still see my grandfather 3-4 times a week but now we don’t play games anymore. He has been diagnosed with ALS which is a nerve disease and he can no longer talk, eat or move on his own. Every time I walk through the back room and see the dusty TROUBLE box that lies in the shelf or even the brand new, unopened box on the store shelf, I am reminded of my grandfather. That game symbolizes the laughter and once happy times we use to share. It represents my childhood and summer days at grandma’s house. It is a memory that is forever ingrained into my heart. I hope to keep that old game box and keep it for the rest of my life as it is something that has become so dear to me.


Another symbol is a frog. In some cultures it represents luck pr fertility as frogs lay many eggs. It can also symbolize transformation and renewal as frogs grow from tadpoles to adult frogs. To me though, frogs represent my childhood and an old friend. When I was in 3rd grade I acquired an obsession over frogs. Everything that had a frog on it I was attracted to. Eventually my whole room became green and there was frog stuff everywhere. Then, in 4th grade my mom caught two frogs in the yard and bought a cage and some food and told me I could keep them. I named these frogs Legs and Lola. I had never had my own pet before so I was very excited. These frogs became my companions through the rest of my elementary years. I cleaned their cage every week and watched them jump around. Although there were some glitches such as an accidental loose cricket in the house, or sleepless nights because of croaking, these frogs were the best present that had happened to me. In an ironic sort of way Legs and Lola fulfilled the symbol of growth and transformation as well. For in October of my sixth grade year I woke up to find them dead. On that same morning I also began my womanly “special time”. It was almost as if they were saying, “Ok, it’s time for you to grow up now so we are going to go.” Looking back on it all now I am so very thankful that I was able to have those two years of fascination and companionship. To this day when I see or hear a frog I’m reminded of my two special buddies who gave me so much love and comfort.


The last little symbol that represents a piece of my life is a silver ring on my left hand. It is a promise ring I asked my parents for on one Christmas several years ago. It symbolizes a promise to God and to me to save myself for my husband. It is also a representation of my faith and what I believe in. I never take this ring off besides when I’m doing dirty jobs such as painting or yard work. I find that when it is off I sometimes panic because my hand feels naked without it and I immediately search my mind to figure out where I put it. When I look at my ring I’m reminded of the beauty of marriage and the excitement for my future husband. I thank God for giving me the strength to wait and am proud to honor him in my innocence.

Death of a Salesman

In the play, Death of a Salesman, Willy’s hallucinations about his past life and brother Bernard convey his psychological problem of living in the past. Throughout the entire play Willy’s illusions are intertwined with his present life. By seeing into his mind, the reader sees why Willy is the way he is and where he comes from. Willy’s dream is to be a wealthy, well liked business man. Reputation seems to be everything to him, even towards his boys Happy and Biff. For example, they look up to him and see him as the perfect, held together father when they are little and Willy sees them as becoming just like him as he says, “you guys together could lick the civilized world” (67). We see how proud Willy is of Biff in his dreams as he brags about him saying “he has nerves of iron” and that he will become a football star (55). It is in these dreams that Willy is happy and proud because he is the one who is on top and looked upon. However, when Biff discovers that his father’s life was all a lie when he catches him in an affair, he loses all admiration. This could then be seen as the decline of Willy’s state of mind as he loses the trust and respect of his first son.

In addition to the reputation and popularity that Willy seeks for, he also looks up to success and wealth, especially in his brother Bernard. Whenever Willy seems to see his dead brother it is when things go terribly wrong with his job or he is distressed about money. Willy hallucinates about his brother because he found and became everything Willy had wanted to be. Although Willy had always wanted the life of his brother and had pretended to find the riches and success in business, he ultimately had failed to go out and grasp it. Therefore, the reader also sees that Willy’s mental state is a result of failure and abandonment.

Ultimately, Willy is trying to live his life through his kids because he did not achieve his own dream of success and riches. It is his own distress and disappointment that drives him deeper into a sense of madness when his kids don’t follow and become what he has wanted them to. Now, not only does Willy fail to prosper in his own life but he also fails when trying to prosper through the lives of Happy and Biff as they do not want the same things as him. Through Willy’s psychological state his fears become reality when he kills himself and no one comes to his funeral. He dies without riches, without a high reputation, and without success and honor.