A major theme that seems to be portrayed in Pride and Prejudice is love and marriage. Its three main outlooks are seen through Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and Lydia. Mrs. Bennet represents the typical views of society which is a marriage based off reputation and wealth. She believes that “a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”… and if she finds such a man who comes into town, “he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters” (3). In Mrs. Bennet’s mind, women, (specifically her daughters) must behave in a certain way and live according to the norms of society. It is only by living this kind of lifestyle that a marriage proposal will be obtained. Marriage thus becomes an obligation and love has no valid place, it is something that will maybe develop later in the future. Overall, society portrays marriage to just be an opportunity to climb the social latter and gain public opinion. However, Elizabeth’s relationship with Mr. Darcy is a different outlook. Their marriage is based off of genuine and honest emotion as seen when Elizabeth tells Jane, “I love him” (240). Although Mr. Darcy has plenty of money, it is not an essential factor in Elizabeth’s mind as it is to the rest of society. In fact, she turned down Mr. Darcy’s first proposal because she had not felt those feelings of affection and love as she later did. Elizabeth and her sister Jane are the only characters who marry for true love and coincidently are the only characters who in the end are truly happy. Contradictory to both Mrs. Bennet’s and Elizabeth’s outlook on love and marriage is Lydia. Lydia goes against social norms when she elopes with Mr. Wickham and lives with him before they are married. To Lydia love is fun in the moment, it is flirty and adventures. Her immaturity reveals her irresponsibility and carelessness when it comes to love. She is a character who lives for the happiness of the moment but is approach to love eventually runs dry when the thrill and pleasure of it all is gone. Throughout the entire novel there seemed to be the question, what is love? Whether it be societies view or Elizabeth’s and Lydia’s there was no clear answer. However, the fact that Elizabeth and Jane were the only married, successful, and truly happy characters seems to suggest that marriage is something that can only thrive off of true and sincere emotion rather than the material things.
The ideal reader who comes across this novel should see that the way in which society views and accepts marriage may not be the right way. The pressures and norms of society or from the family are not necessarily the means of finding true happiness. It is following the heart and speaking freely about our feelings without worry of judgment which allows us to be ourselves. The reader should come to the conclusion that no amount of wealth or high societal status can compare to the real and honest feelings of love. However, Austin also shows how love is not just a thrill, a live for the moment and passion approach but rather something more. Love is deeper, it’s patient and it’s kind.
I personally agree with Austin’s view of love. It is so easy to get caught up on how society portrays love and relationships and a lot of times those relationships fail. When we side with society, we tend to lose those things that are important, like real heartfelt and personal emotions. Excitement and material possessions only last for so long yet that seems to be what society screams at us. It tells us to live in the moment, to live to make ourselves happy, whatever gives us pleasure. They make everything seem fun and perfect yet they fail to reveal the whole truth. There are always consequences for our actions. The saddest part about society to me today is that marriage and love has lost all meaning. People don’t get married off of genuine love. They get married like Lydia, finding pleasure and excitement in the moment and then later finding themselves empty and bored. The solution is then divorce and before you know it they’re off on an adventure run again. Love has become an empty word replaced with personal pleasure. Sex is encouraged, it is a way to explore your sexuality and make yourself feel good. There’s no commitment and there’s no emotion, it’s just physical. I, like Jane and Elizabeth want something real, something sacred and genuine. I am not afraid to be myself and speak my opinions to the Miss Bingleys’ and Lady Catherines’. I am waiting for that man rich or poor that God places before me and who respects me and loves me for who I truly am despite the norms of society.
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